Its hard being a parent

I started the day a little emotional and it just got worse throughout the day. Lately my boys have seem to be out of control and I am slowly losing it. I don't know if its just there age or if there rebelling because of things that have happened and I'm not able to be around them all the time. I dont know. As I stuggled with this question today I found myself watching Oprah. It was about a dad that that wrote a book about watching his son become a drug addict and how much it affected not only the son but the whole family. At first I wanted to change it but I slowly got dragged in. By the end I was bawling (of course) and I have not stopped. It is so sad that drugs can take away somebodys life the way it does. I still do blame the drug addict for ever making that decision to take the first hit but I do feel bad that with some people it is so powerfull. I always wanted girls because as I was growing up I was fairly good. I made good decision, I got good grades. I did what I was supposed to do, but some of the boys around me where so bad and it scared be to death to have boys, and now I have three. People would always say to me but boys are so much easier. In my mind I think ya maybe there not as moody but they seem to be wilder and get in more trouble. I know some girls are too but I usually see the boys. I pray everynight that my boys will grow up to make good decisions. I hope they can learn from other peoples mistakes. Of course I want them to go through trials because I believe thats what makes you who you are. I just pray that they will not make choices that will destroy there lifes. It is so hard being a parent, you worry for your children everyday. Yesterday at work I was joking about how great I was and one of the ladies said I would take you as my daughter any day, and then she said I take that back, if you were my daughter I would be in a fetal postion worring about you all the time. I just laughed and said I'm alright. I know my parents feel the same way sometimes. I hope as my boys grow older they will know how much I love and care about them and maybe one day when they are fathers they will know why I worry about them so much.