Here I go again

So its been a couple monthes since I have gone off and I'm struggeling, so here it goes. And yes, I have forgotten to take my antidepressent this week. It's sad that my life has come to this, remembering to take a small pill so I can make it through the day without crying. I am realizing very quickly that I hate being single (again). Maybe thats why I kept getting married so quick and making the wrong choices. Trust me I will not make this mistake again. I will not rush into getting married but oh how I would love to have somebody in my life. Some people say you just need to figure out how to be on your own for 5 years and then date, I think thats a bunch of bull @#$%. I've been on my own for the last 10 years and I hate it. I think I need to stop watching the Bachelor and watching all these girls fall in love or reading these love story's like the "Lucky One". By the way thank you who ever gave that to me for christmas, he is my favorite author and the book is amazing. Ok so you get the point, I am lonely but not only that I am stressed out to the max. This single mom thing is awful. I am trying to be a great mom but man am I tired. I feel like I have to go overboard and be there mom, dad, friend, finacial supporter, teacher and counceler. I cant keep up with all of it. I am totally overwhelmed. Sometimes I think about just dropping the kids off at grandmas and hoping on the first plane I see. I am so ready for a vacation. Ok I'm done ranting. I know I am not the only one going through difficult times and you are all in my prayers. One day I will be thankful for this time but right now its really hard.